


I Can't Seem To Stop

by iofbeholder



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Humor, Attempted Murder, Biting, Bonding, Claiming, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mates, Mating, Misunderstanding, Romance, Violence, mating for life, were!stiles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-30
Updated: 2013-02-09
Packaged: 2017-11-27 14:48:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/663230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iofbeholder/pseuds/iofbeholder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a full moon, so as expected, Derek is wolfed out running in the woods, until he comes across a scent...a scent he can't ignore. - A Stiles and Derek love story. Derek POV AU This is the companion piece to, "I Can't Stop You".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. From Killing You

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter is a teaser.

Running. As a werewolf and it being a full moon running was a pastime for me. As a born werewolf, and having the time to learn to concentrate and control my inherent urges, the moon no longer held its sway over me as it did when I was younger. Not to say that every once in a while I don't let my wolf out to play, but he was collared long ago and bounding through the forest on a full moon made both myself and my wolf feel free.

I would always stay on my family's land, but tonight felt different, as some unseeable force was pushing me closer to the highway about a half mile off my land, the land I always roam during this time of the month. As the highway was never busy this time of night, I could hear off in the distance a rumbling vehicle coming nearer; then it hit, this overwhelming need to be near whatever or whomever was in the vehicle.

Without thinking, I leapt into the road, straight into the path of the oncoming Jeep. Of course, it swerved; although, not before the left tail end hit my side tossing me into the nearest tree line, with me trying to stop my momentum with my claws, stabbing into the hardened earth leaving trails with my nails. A piece of the jeep's tail light was sticking out of my side under my ribs. Growling, I pulled it out of me and started slowly healing myself. It wasn't until I wasn't focused on my wound did I perceive the scent. My wolf screamed at me to get to the scent...now. The wolf knew what he (we) wanted and took over, not letting me decide.

It was an alarming feeling having the wolf pull me through the woods without my own volition holding his reins back; it was hearing, smelling its prey. If the scent was as intoxicating from this length of space away, I can't imagine what it'll be like when the wolf catches us up to it.

Hearing breaths puff violently through tired lungs and heartbeat erratic, I know that the...human, male human, is stressing his body, running in fear. He must have hard me come after him. I'm close enough now that my wolf reacts, tries to reach for him, to stop him; my wolf forgetting in its chase to get our prize that my (our) claws are extended. Instead of only slowing the human, like intended, we instead accidentally slice through his skin with a sickening sound and sweet, luscious smell. It's only then I know we've severely injured him; the scent that brought me here even more alluring, but I know it's only because of the blood from the open wounds. My wolf notices the boy has fallen to the ground and isn't moving much. We internally whine and step closer. Seeing the blood pool around him, I begin to feel infinitely saddened, like my world has been blown away. My wolf whines in desperation and I feel the same as he, devastated. We step adjacent to the tree where he feel, kneeling behind him to better inspect the damaged we have caused. Being instinctual, my wolf pulls us down to lick at the wounds, hoping to seal them and stop the bleeding. Realizing that the human's breathing is slowing along with his once erratic heartbeat, I (we) know the human boy is dying.

A sob leaves me as the boy whispers, "I'm so sorry, daddy."

I've ruined something special. The heartbeat of the boy slows further to a pace where it skips every third beat. He's almost gone. Without hesitation and knowing it's wrong to force my curse on others, I bite the human boy.

Yet, he doesn't move. Does he not feel it? Is he dead, am I too late?

No, I can still faintly hear it.

My new lifeline...a human boy's heart.


	2. From Stalking You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek waits for Stiles to wake. In the meantime...- A Stiles and Derek love story. Derek POV AU This is the companion piece to, "I Can't Stop You".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple facts up for you: Derek's family still parished in the fire, except so did his sister. He lives alone, in the burned house, secluding himself. Before the first chapter he never met Stiles nor does he know Scott. Derek knows Peter's alive (and not crispy), but Peter and Derek don't associate much anymore. In this universe, any werewolf can turn a human, not just Alphas; so, Derek's still a beta.

* * *

After picking up the boy, my wolf and I scowling at how slender he is, I easily cradled him to my chest as I made my way home. I didn't need to pay attention to the direction I was heading, as I knew these woods like the back of my hand, giving me credence to take in the human in my arms. With alabaster skin and a softness to his features unlike any I had beheld before, I couldn't look away. And his scent...was absolutely euphoric. My (our) want, (our) love, for this boy was palpable, so much so, that I noticed I was smiling. It had been so long since I had done so; it hurt, yet I could not stop myself. The boy was still minutely cold from blood loss, so I tried to press him as tightly against my body for warmth; also, because I wanted to have him in contact with myself, not only so I could take in his divine scent, but also flood his skin with my own scent.

Nearing my gauche house, in my elated state for a moment it was as if I could see my childhood home as it once was years ago; shaking my head slightly alleviated the pain that came with thinking about what used to be. I instead focused back to my new desire, the human, filling my head with a stack of unanswered questions: What's his name? What does he do? Is he still in school? Will he be frightened of me when he finds out I chased and hurt him in the woods? Could he love me? And most notably, and terrifyingly, if he could find it in him to love me, will he hate me for the bite?

Since there was no need to lock the doors any longer, I kicked the front door open, rushed through the foyer, and made my way upstairs to my room. I would not have taken this remarkable creature to such a decrepit place if I had had another option. 'Solitude was a wolf's greatest ally' was what I was always taught, and I had been trying my best to restore the interior of my childhood home, leaving the outside as is to ward off unwelcome visitors. Thus leaving the only choice left to me to bring him here, my sanctuary, my prison.

Releasing him from my hold by laying him gently on my bed allowed me to now see the damage to his clothes I had caused. In my haste to heal and turn him, I hadn't realized the clothes were so greatly shredded. Shredded and bloody.

Looking for clothes of mine that would fit him, I came to the conclusion that none were going to, nor did I care to be away from him to scour for any in my old things packed away. Opting instead for boxers, I made my way back to him. Seeing him in my bed made my heart race.

Pushing the heady scent of the boy away and my need to care for him forefront, I grabbed for his shirt first, or what was left of it, and ripped it off his lean body. Myself and wolf alike, groaned at the sight laid out before us, but we were not selfish or greedy enough to take any more advantage of the situation than we were already, allowing ourselves to breathe his scent and take sight of him was ample for the time being.

At least, not until he consented to have us take advantage of his body. Preferably with him begging by moaning my name. And I've let my mind run away with me in my lust for him.

Steadying myself, I just barely lengthened my claws to slice through his jeans and underwear. Thinking at once, my wolf and I agreed, he is beautiful. I made quick work of tossing away the battered clothes, and more slowly eased the fresh pair of boxers up his legs, fastening the elastic band around his lovely hips. The process had me swallowing several times with the excess saliva being produced in my mouth.

To clear my lust and even my breathing, I turned to gather his jeans with the prospect of finding his wallet. I open it and look at his driver's license to find out my infatuation's name. **_Faddej Stilinski._**

That was not what I would have pegged him being named when I look at him. It's not bad, just somehow not him.

I was planning to change my clothes, as they had been bloodied carrying him here, but decided to wear my birthday suit to be and feel closer to him as I lay down in bed beside him. I pulled both of us under the sheet, wrapping myself around his frame.

Now that he was safe, warm, beside me in my bed, I stopped to think about how lucky I am now. Remembering the stories my parents had told me, that to find one's mate was a rare and most valued thing. This was the only explanation as to why I was so drawn to him, why his scent seemed to be a living force calling to me...he was my mate.

As a final thought before sleep overtakes me, I vowed that even though he was human and would have no understanding of werewolf mating, when the boy wakes, I would leave no room for him to doubt my need to be with him, close to him, to love him. Hopefully, in the process of doing that, also explain he's a wolf without his feelings for me turning to hate.

* * *

 For once in many, many years, I didn’t wake from a nightmare covered in sweat and breathing harshly. Then I remembered why.

I could hear him waking, his breath hitching to indicate his panicked state as he becomes aware, not only of being somewhere unfamiliar, but with someone unfamiliar. I imagine he discerns this as the back of his hand touches my ribs from him stretching, which propels a cascade of sparks throughout my body. My body’s reaction is almost orgasmic to this unsubstantial touch.

Apparently, the sparks were one-sided.

He pushes himself away from me, rolling off the bed. I know this shouldn't pain me, having him recoil from me, reasonably confused to act in that manner, but it does. It really does. But I won't allow myself to let it corrupt the ecstatic energy I'm feeling, because he's alive, with me. His scent flourishing around the room.

I give him a minute to take in his surroundings, which also gives me time to calm myself and study his movements, breaths, and scent his feelings.

Fear, though, not the same as was coming off him last night in the woods, was the prominently featured scent. Next being confusion and weariness. But the thing that had me lose my control and open my eyes to stare back at the unusually engaging brown eyes was attraction. It was a small scent in juxtaposition to the others, but still prevalent. It made me smile.

He wasn't unaffected by me. This pleased my wolf and me.

I had been so caught up in him that when I went to speak my mind blanked, so what came out of my mouth was, "Um, hi." I internally rolled my eyes at myself, but the beautiful creature in front of me didn't seem to mind my diffused greeting.

He was still deer in the headlights. "How are you feeling?" Please use words; I want to here what your voice sounds like. Is it husky, low, high, boyish or manly? Please don’t keep me in suspense.

"Not to be rude or anything, but do I know you and, um, can you tell me what I'm doing here, what happened?"

And now I’m stunned to silence. What a magnificent lilt to his voice. He’s miraculous. What did I ever do to deserve such a wondrous creature? _God, I’m such a sap, now._ My wolf agrees.

God, I need to stop fixating on him, and listen to what he’s saying.

Though maybe I can converse with him and tease him a little in the process. "You don't remember getting hurt last night then." I tried my best to seductively slide up the bed resting on the headboard, while planting the thin sheet across my lower half enticingly.

Yes, his heart rate seemed to increase, and instead of only being caused by anxiety, his scent told me it was traced with mixes of wanton desire.

"How did I get hurt? I don't feel injured." He fidgeted to see if his body hurt, but I know that the bite has left him pristine. _The bite._ The first wave of guilt since we were in the woods rears its ugly head.

The boy’s heart rate increased yet again. "Did you find me in the woods?"

Oh shit. I had been hoping to delay this. I hadn’t yet wanted to delve into complications, wanting to stick to the simplicity of getting to know each other, making him fall for me alongside the mating bond. Seems like that’s not going to happen with the way he’s staring at me now.

Now or never. "Yes and no." _Vague enough for you._

"You were being chased through the woods, and were accidentally injured… _and was dying_." I was hoping desperately he hadn’t heard the last part, but he’s a werewolf now, so, of course, he heard. I’m just glad he doesn’t know how to use his werewolf abilities to smell what my emotions are yet.

"How do you know this? You were in the woods? Did you see what was chasing me? I remember running through woods, and, just now, I think I remembered something colliding with me on the road as I was coming home from practice." Good lord, the kid could talk. Well, I guess, we really are made for each other; where I was quiet, he was verbose. It was funny how listening to his voice calmed me, but what he was saying made me apprehensive; my body was terribly confused by this boy.

"Um, okay. I’m going to try to give you as many details as I can, but you’re going to have to try not to freak out on me, Faddej—"

"WHOA! Hold right there. How in the hell do you know my first name? Like _nobody_ knows, let alone uses, my first name. So, how do you?" Well, this would be one of the easier of my confessions, so I didn’t hesitate to tell him the truth.

"When I brought you back here from the woods, I kind of went through your wallet." He had a dubious look upon his face, so to clarify his suspicions I said, "I wanted to know your name." And again I flirted with him. "It’s definitely a unique name."

"Yeah, it’s a family name from my mother’s side."

"So, if you don’t go by Faddej, then what do you go by?"

"Stiles. It’s a play on my last name I made up with my friend, Scott, when we were about 7."

"Stiles Stilinski." I tried not to show how much this new information about my mate excited me. I ruminated in the sound of his name until I sensed his impatience to get back to my explanations of the previous night.

"So about last night?"

Instead of answering him, I said, "By the way, I’m Derek."

He raced to say, "Nice to meet you and thank you for not leaving me out in the woods and all, but can you quite deflecting, _please_."

"You were correct. You were driving down the highway and hit an animal last night, and it’s what was chasing you through the woods and hurt you. It didn’t mean to hurt you; it would never purposefully harm you. The animal was only trying to halt your running."

He stared blankly for a moment before scrunching his eyebrows together.

"Why in damn hell would an animal try to stop me running from it, and better yet how would you know what the animal was thinking about?"

Obstacle number one: _Here we go._ "I’m a werewolf, and it was me that you hit with your Jeep last night." I cleared my throat.

"Right, so you are a werewolf." He said rolling his eyes, and I suspect thinking I was a lunatic. At least the "lun(e)" part is right. "So, if you’re a werewolf, why would you let me run you over, then chase after me through the woods with, as you say, no intention of hurting or killing me?"

Obstacle number two: "Because when I smelled you, I realized _you were my mate and that I love you_."

"Come fucking again?"

Reminding myself of the promise I made when he was still asleep. I steeled myself and looked at him direct.

"I know we don’t know each other, and you obviously wouldn’t know anything about werewolf history or our legends, but when I smelled you last night, even before you hit me, your scent attracted me to you unlike anything I’ve ever encountered before. As I chased you through the woods, it felt exhilarating to be near you, so much so, that when I reached out to slow you I had forgotten I was still partially changed, and that’s when you were injured…by my claws…scraping down your entire back."

I took a solemn breath before leaping into the hardest part of my truths.

Obstacle number three: "I caused irreversible damage when I stopped you. You were bleeding out, dying. As I leaned over you, seeing the life drain from you, I just couldn’t let you go. So, I bit you; I turned you. You are a werewolf, like me, now. I love you so much that I selfishly took your humanity, so that I could have you, alive."

It was hard to say to him, but I had decided to come clean. I had wanted to get across to him how _much_ I loved him. Hopefully, this would ensure me a chance at falling _in love_ with my mate. It was inherent in the mating bond to love him, but we weren’t connected enough to be **in love** with each other yet. I knew his face and his name, but I wanted to know his mind, ambitions, and his spirit. My wolf prodded me that I forgot to add body, (we) also wanted to know his body.

I should have known better. I thought that if he knew the motivation behind my actions, he would see reason. What I hadn’t figured was that he would be so startled by my revelations that he would try to pull away. _How stupid am I? I’m going to loose him after I just found him._

I could recognize it in his eyes, where there was a litany of emotions there before, now they divulged nothing. It was as if he was shutting down right in front of me. Still, I could tell that he looked for a way to be liberated from what I’m sure he thought of as a dreadful situation.

"Where are my clothes?" He said hollowly. His voice validated what I saw in his eyes. _My wolf begged me stop this, to get him back to where we could at least have our mate not look dead inside._

"They were shredded after last night. If I look in some of my old clothes from when I was in high school, I am sure I can find something that you can fit in." Getting up, I reached over and pulled some sweat pants on so as not to further agitate Stiles as I search for clothing for him.

What a tortuous feeling it was to sense happiness is just out of reach, but no matter how hard you try you can’t get there.

When I handed him the clothes and he turned away from me, the heartache I felt was so visceral, I thought I might tumble over from the lack of capacity to deal with it. With my luck, I should have known he wouldn’t be able to forgive me for cursing him, but even so, I would watch out for him, protect him; after all it was my fault he was cursed and he was untrained in the ways of werewolves and our rules. Even more importantly, he didn’t know about hunters. Possibly, at some point, I’ll be able to prevail on him to permit me to train him; I hate to think of him as vulnerable. In truth, without us being bonded mates together, we are both vulnerable.

"You’re leaving me, aren’t you?" Nodding to me that he was adamant to depart, I moved out of his way, letting him pass.

Something crumbled inside me as I heard him shut the door and walk out the house.

I will give him a 15 minute head start, and track his scent to ensure he gets back home safe. To pacify my wolf, I purposed that perhaps on the way, we might have an epiphany on how to remedy the predicament we’ve gotten ourselves in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "One In A Million (Urban Noize Remix)" - Aaliyah, "Bloodstream (Boggan and ZeropointOne Remix)" - Stateless, "Four Floors (Diplo Remix)" – Sunday Girl
> 
> Stiles's first name: Фаддей, Faddej (fa-DAY), is an Aramaic word meaning heart.


	3. From Wanting You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek goes after Stiles...when he finds him, very bad things ensue. - A Stiles and Derek love story. Derek POV AU This is the companion piece to, "I Can't Stop You".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First fight scenes I've ever written, so please, don't judge too harshly. Thanks. I do not own Teen Wolf.

Figuring I had let Stiles get about as much of a head start as I was comfortable with, I briskly dressed and went in search for my mate.

Using his scent to track him, I followed his path that led into the woods, and not to his vehicle. I doubled my pace, my wolf and I worrying about him being newly turned and defenseless in the woods without me.

Getting closer to him, I could start to perceive his emotions in his trailing scent.

He must be encountering the full force of his werewolf abilities, as the scent of amazement, thrill, bewilderment, and sheer joy have grown strong in his wake. I was slightly heavyhearted that I wasn’t there with him when he was experiencing such things for the first time. I remembered my whole family being with me while I fully turned when I hit puberty; us celebrating my transition as a ‘werewolf sweet sixteen’ of sorts by me rough housing with my siblings without them having to hold back, and my parents taking me deep in the woods to fully undergo the enlightenment that came with being a full-fledged werewolf.

A spike of acidic hysteria in the air brings me out of my memory, focusing me back on my objective: Stiles.

Making my way to the outer edge of the area, I find him leaning down to pick up something outside of a house. I stay back, out of sight and sound, watching as he finds what has to be his spare key. He turns looking at the forest that’s shielding me, before going inside. I brighten at the thought that he might have sensed that I was here. With Stiles verging with his abilities, it has me and my wolf wondering when Stiles’s wolf will gain enough command and cognizance within him to sense us.

I reach out with my hearing, listening to him make his way through the house, up the stairs, and opening the door to enter a room. Easing my way up the trellis of the house, I land on the part of the roof that the window of the room is visible from. I move adjacent to the window to stay concealed.

It’s then I find that he’s not alone in the house. It seems my reprieve in anxiety was artificial the more heightened the activity in the room gets, with elevated heart rates and then hostile toned words cause me to reflexively want to defend my mate.

When I see an unknown man get closer as if to grab Stiles, I can’t hold my wolf or myself back any longer. I effortlessly break through the window, trying my best not to inflict any damage to Stiles in the process, whilst positioning myself between the domineering man and my mate.

"What the holy hell are you doing?" I ignore the derision from my mate and instead focus on the threat to him.

"He was approaching you in a threatening manner. I’m protecting you." It was as simple as that.

"Who the fuck are _you_? Are you him? You the one that got me? I can smell that you’re one of us, are you the guy then?" I don’t understand what the man, which I now notice is just a mere boy, is talking about, but he’s so geared for an attack that the smell of the room has a primal edge to it. This only makes my wolf more attentive to the pending fight.

"What is he talking about?" I don’t answer, because I haven’t a clue as to what he is going on about either.

"What are you talking about, Scott?" Good, maybe he’ll reply, shedding some light on what’s enraged the unknown werewolf so.

"Werewolves, Stiles. I’m talking about werewolves, like you are now…and the wolf that bit me, turning me into this unnatural thing, this abomination." His eyes light with fury when he says ‘ _and the wolf that bit me_ ’. How could he possibly think I was the wolf that gave him the bite? All he would have to do would be to smell my scent to know that we’ve never come in contact, let alone think I bit him. He’s obviously untrained, and therefore not apt enough in his abilities to know such things as this.

"You’re the one, aren’t you? You are the only other one I’ve come across." I keep quiet, not knowing how to convince the rogue werewolf that I didn’t turn him.

As I’m trying to form a plan, I scent Stiles’s distress and hear his astonishment in a gasp he inhales. No. He couldn’t think I actually bit someone else, could he?

"I can’t believe this. Why would you do this?" Shit…he does.

Even though I know I shouldn’t, I turn my back towards my enemy to stop Stiles from moving away from me.

"Stiles." I say as cautionary as I can to not upset him further.

"Why are you here, haven’t you done enough damage. Can’t you leave me alone to deal with what you’ve done to me."

"You’re not safe with him." My wolf whines, pleading him to believe us.

"What are you talking about. I’m perfectly safe with my best friend that I’ve known since I was 6, as opposed to you, the person stalking me and who actually turned me in to a werewolf, whom I don’t know at all." So now I know the identity of the previously unrevealed teen wolf, _Scott_.

I grab Stiles’s hand, getting him to focus on my eyes willing the connection to work it’s magic.

"You can trust me Stiles. I told you I would never hurt you. We’re mates, soul mates, if you’d rather look at it like that. **I want to protect you**." _Please accept our fate together._

"How can you stand there and say that after what you’ve done. Stiles, don’t listen to him he’s trying to con you." _Shut up, asshole._

I kept my concentration on Stiles’s eyes, hoping he would feel the draw as I do, but a malevolent sounding hiss of my beloved’s name came from behind me and broke Stiles out of our union.

I can’t stop my wolf from growling through me when Stiles jerks his hand from mine to go to the other boy’s side.

Paying attention to Stiles, when I should have been watching my threat, causes me not to see the teen wolf fly across the room to get at me, claws extended. I was trained well, thus able to get away with barely any damage other than to my shirt.

I’ve had enough of this werewolf meddling in Stiles and my affairs.

The wolf hadn’t landed very well, so I grabbed him by the throat before he recovered his stance to defend himself, and started squeezing.

"Stop you’re hurting him. You said you wouldn’t hurt me, well you are by hurting him." _Stiles._ I pause, hearing my mate’s heart pound at such a rate, that I’m taken back to when I almost killed him. I scent the air, and find panic, but most importantly anger. Then, to my worst fear, when I look at Stiles, I see tears falling from his large, frightened eyes. Damn, what am I doing?

I unlatch my grip from the werewolf’s throat and, penitent, left through the window I had broken earlier not allowing myself the privilege to look upon my mate a second time.

* * *

 

I’ve always had a proclivity for screwing things up. I guess it’s good to know the reliability of that hasn’t changed.

I’m just chock full of stupid. If I could have convinced Stiles to be with me, perhaps he could have looked past my ineptitude. Yet I was inept at convincing him too.

As I reflect on my life, all I see are failures.

I failed to do the one thing pack and family is supposed to do, protect and save each other. Instead, I got mine murdered. I’ve never been able to forgive myself for it, thus never getting past it. Hell, I’ve failed to live since their deaths. I had been carrying hope that I would have a second chance to build a life after finding Stiles, but I’ve failed, yet again, to acquire that.

At every turn I fail. _Can’t I do anything right?_

I so wish I had had my family here to guide me through dealing with the mating bond, then I wouldn’t have messed everything up so terribly.

And it’s as I’m thinking upon this that I feel the first strike of claws to my side, digging in deep, shooting pain throughout my left side.

Without me doing so, my wolf takes over in defense. I shift and immediately smell my attacker, the werewolf that’s friends with Stiles, _Scott_. I’m then, also, aware of Stiles not far off watching the fight with a mercurial look on his face.

Looking at my mate is when I know what I have to do, or rather not do.

I wouldn’t allow myself to hurt Stiles again by hurting his _friend_ , so I don’t reciprocate his attack, more or less trying, feebly, to suspend serious detriment to my body.

It was working somewhat, until the point where I was becoming dizzy from what I suspected was blood loss. I had suffered too many deep cutting wounds. It made my movements sluggish, and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to put up with much more.

That’s when I heard the teen wolf’s boisterous voice pronouncing that Stiles needed to not stand there and do what they had come here to do.

This was it; the culmination of all the injustices I’ve incurred brought down upon me…finally.

Once I felt the new set of claws join with the other all fight in me vanished. Even my wolf did not want to stop the onslaught. My wolf and I had vowed we would do no more harm to our mate, and we would not backtrack on that again, even to save ourselves.

Suddenly, everything stopped; they had stopped.

"You should have the final blow. He only turned me into this impurity; he essentially murdered, turned, abducted, and stalked you. Kill the perverted werewolf asshole, so we can be done with this and go home back to our normal lives."

Stiles stiffly moved in front of me, looking deep into my eyes.

Not only could I see the hesitation, the conflict within, I could infinitesimally sense it through the mate bond that we had never been able to fully form properly.

Still, I knew. Even before his friend had said the words, ‘final blow’, I knew.

We would never be together, we would never share a love like the mating bond had prophesized; we would never grow old with each other. And in such a situation as this, if my mate weren’t the hand that was dealing out the punishment, I would wish for him to hold me, comfort me, as it should be as I leave this life behind.

Yet, things never seem to work out for me ‘the way they should be.’

I was slouched down on the ground, but was still able to see his hand draw back, claws glistening with blood, my blood.

He paused when our eyes met once more. This was it, the end. I would never be able to lay my eyes upon my mate, or anything else, after this. I accepted the fact that my last memory and sight would be of him, Stiles, and I was all right with that, even if the memory wasn’t ideal.

As his hand began to move in a downward motion, I said the one thing that had been a present in my mind since meeting him, "My mate, I love you."

Once it was complete, I felt myself draining. Both of blood and essence, until there was a vast nothingness, a black void.

Not really sure if it’s my imagination or not, I think I can hear the voices of my family say, " _go…go_." They must not want me to be with them, wherever they are; they haven’t forgiven me for what I’ve done.

" _Go…go back to him._ "

I don’t know how long I lingered in this void or how long I would have to remain there to wait.

That was until I connected to a spark; it was just a slight ember, but it shown bright in the dark void drawing me towards it. I knew of only one thing it could be; surrendering, I let it take me to it, envelope me with it’s light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Music: "My Obsession" - Cinema Bizzare, "Stripped" – Shiny Toy Guns, Arrival of The Birds (StArt Remix) – The Cinematic Orchestra

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter Music: "Shiny Things (Yeasayer Remix)" - Fanfarlo


End file.
